Circle of Harmony
My spiritual journey had always been based on my life flowing in a circle of harmony, instead of the sabotage and resistance I practiced on a daily basis. However, caught up in my own chaos, I believed such peace was beyond my reach. I was too immersed in my pain and in a weird way, I liked it that way. My struggle was real, it was familiar and at least I was in control, or so I thought.
Eventually though, after years and years of practice, I finally learned to let go. I relinquished the control I’d so desperately clung to, gave up on the idea that I had to make my life happen and when I did? The truth of what I felt inside almost annihilated me. Why had it taken me so long to realise this?
The circle of harmony became accessible to me and nothing would ever be the same again. Finally grasping the fact that every single aspect of my life was as important and as precious as the other, was intoxicating. Love, health, career, money, children, family, friends, nature and romance, all flowing together in a circle of peace, with me at it’s centre.
Some spiritual teachers advocate a life of balance, but I couldn’t help picturing myself spinning plates when I thought of balance. The idea of harmony completely resonated, as I visualised myself at the centre of my circle, conducting the brilliant orchestra of my life; each instrument playing a vital part in creating the symphony of my soul.
The mistakes I’d made while living outside the circle of harmony became abundantly clear. For as long as I could remember, I’d put certain elements of my life on a pedestal. Having money was one and being skinny was another, but sitting on the highest pedestal was romantic love. Romantic love had always been the pinnacle of my life, the prize I so desperately coveted.
For years, I daydreamed and fantasised about great love, the kind you read about in a book. I wanted to find my soulmate and experience what I thought of as true love and although I’d fallen in love throughout my life, I’d never quite found what I was looking for. Then one day I did, I found the most intense and incredible love, one that catapulted me to the heights of rapture and I couldn’t believe my luck.
Of course it didn’t last and the resulting pain was indescribable, but it was only when I recovered and reflected, that I realised that I’d unknowingly put romantic love on a pedestal and that my belief in it being solely responsible for making me feel whole, was far-flung. Making another responsible for my feelings of euphoria was impossible to sustain and I wasted years pursuing, chasing and longing for a man to complete me, but guess what?
**Alert! Stop reading now if you’re a hopeless romantic.**
There is not one person alive on this planet who can complete me.
The scene from the movie Jerry Maguire, one that I watched a million times, when he said, ‘you complete me,’ had me yearning for someone to complete me, but it’s simply not possible and here’s why.
‘I am already complete. I am whole and I am loved and none other than myself can ever make me feel that way,’
Romantic love is wonderful and meeting a person you connect with on a deep intimate level is the most beautiful feeling in the world, but if like me, you put it on a pedestal, one of two things will likely happen. You may feel as if love never meets your expectation and if it does, you might loose yourself trying to hang onto it and unwittingly push it away.
There is nothing like the agony of loving someone who doesn’t want you. If you’ve been dumped, discarded, rejected, abandoned or finished with, I know your pain. No one can help with the pain of a broken heart and time truly is the only healer, but part of that healing is aligning with your circle of harmony.
Recognising, appreciating and bathing in the love of children, family and friends. Immersing in work, to help feel fulfilled, prioritising a yoga practice, eating well and treating yourself with tender loving care. Only then do you appreciate the love already in your life.
Taking romantic love off a pedestal doesn’t mean you don’t get excited at the prospect of falling in love, you get even more excited, knowing that you won’t lose yourself completely to it. Knowing that you can love someone and still be enthusiastic about all the other wonderful aspects of your life.
Solely focusing on getting whatever is on a pedestal, is non harmonious and finally getting it, usually leaves us feeling deflated. If it’s finding ‘the one,’ getting the dream job or having financial freedom for endless shopping. To start with, it’s exhilarating, but sooner or later, the novelty wears off and we’re seeking the next high.
With all spiritual growth, comes realisation and the irony is this; when you take whatever you want off a pedestal, acknowledge your desire, work for it and recognise that your life is still pretty damn good without it, it’s usually yours.
Most of us put something on a pedestal, some put their career, others put having children, some crazy people even put going to the gym onto one. Whatever it is, take it off. Live in the circle of harmony and all aspects of your life are on a pedestal, all aspects of your life are cherished, celebrated and flowing in a circle of peace.