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I'm very excited to share with you an excerpt from my latest self-help book, The Identity Detective.

I was inspired to write this by my nephew Tom Daley who achieved gold at the Tokyo Olympics yesterday. At 11 years old, he declared to the world that he wanted to win a gold medal and at 27...he achieved his dream. What did it take? In his case, sheer hard work and determination, picking himself up time and again, brushing off every failure or bad dive and starting over, but what about you?

What a time to be alive! A pandemic that has seen the whole planet grind to a halt. Banks and businesses are closed, schools and shops, cafe’s, restaurants, factories and flights, but the biggest shock?… The pubs are closed and how the hell are we supposed to cope with that?

It took me forty five years to introduce boundaries into my life. It wasn’t easy and it didn’t make me popular, particularly with my children who could no longer intrude on my space without being called on it. My friends and family noticed the change as my compulsion to only speak my truth became apparent, but what does it mean to have boundaries in your life and what are boundaries?

The first thing I learned is that alcohol is not the enemy, it’s the demons activated by alcohol that affect us the most. Some people keep their demons very controlled until alcohol unleashes them, creating havoc. Some demons are activated by alcohol leaving the bloodstream, beer fear is activated and extreme anxiety and paranoia is the result. Some people’s demons torment them day and night and alcohol becomes their only escape. Then there are the lucky ones, unaffected by their demons they can enjoy alcohol for what it is, without abusing it.

I heard this expression yesterday and it got me thinking. Am I living the aliveness of life? Something that can only be experienced in the present moment, because the present moment is the only place where the ego cannot survive.

We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are.Our lens defines how we see it. If we look through a lens of negativity and judgement, life will seem hard. If our lens is positivite and happy, success and love are more available to us.

My spiritual journey had always been based on my life flowing in a circle of harmony, instead of the sabotage and resistance I practiced on a daily basis. However, caught up in my own chaos, I believed such peace was beyond my reach. I was too immersed in my pain and in a weird way, I liked it that way. My struggle was real, it was familiar and at least I was in control, or so I thought. 

People who have money, tell us it won’t make us happy. People who don’t have it, desire it more than anything, certain that it will. So which is it? We are a society that worships money, we can’t get enough of it and are seduced everyday into believing that buying the latest this or having the latest that, will make us happy. Whether it’s a dream holiday or a great car, the latest gadget or a pair of shoes, these things are very nice, but do they make us happy?

When I first came across the concept of surrender, I thought it sounded like madness.
If bad things happen in my life, I’m supposed to just fully accept them?
My mind completely rejected this idea for a long time, but as I learned about surrender, I became intrigued by it.

High Functioning Anxiety. Who knew such a thing existed? I certainly didn’t, until curious about my own anxiety, I decided to investigate the subject further. I was tired of the relentless feeling of angst, that had become part of my daily life and wanted to know how to rid myself of it. I began reading articles and books on the subject and was astounded by what I learned.

Imagine a city teeming with tremendous Nordic atmosphere, a busy market square, delightful cobbled streets filled with shops and cafes and at it’s centre, an exquisite Cathedral and open air museum, dating back to the 16th century. Now imagine miles of forests, (the Marselisborg Forests) on one side and the Kattegat sea, (cat’s throat’ in Danish) on the other. You’ve now captured a small part of beautiful Aarhus.

The first six weekends of being alcohol free were absolutely appalling and I asked myself daily what the hell I was thinking. Not being able to check out of a hard day, a hard week or a hard meeting with a glass of wine was excruciating. The voice in my head screamed at me to abandon this madness and go straight to the nearest pub, but for the first time in my life, my instinct was stronger and the consequences of drinking were overriding the desire to do so. Alcohol free beer saved me more than once. I was shocked when I drank it for the first time and realised it tasted exactly the same as regular beer. How did I not know that?

Those who have drunk with me in the past will know what being alcohol free means to someone like me. Apart from three pregnancies, when I still drank the recommended minimum amount, I haven’t been alcohol free since I was fifteen years old. Raised in Ireland in a pub culture, most of the people I knew went to the pub. If we were celebrating, we went to the pub, commiserating was done in the pub.

When I was invited to the premier of 16/03 in June 2018, I was excited to attend as it was the first premier I’d ever be invited to. Screened at the Genesis Cinema, Bow Road, London, I bought a new dress, (Ralph Lauren) got my hair done, put on my makeup and made my way to the theatre. It wasn’t exactly my own team of hair and makeup, but I did a reasonable job of making myself look presentable.

Ok, where do I start? In the name of research I took it upon myself to painfully endured an episode of Love Island with my thirteen year old son and I was really, really scared. Scared for my kids and the world they’re growing up in.

What do you see? The duck or the rabbit? Either one is correct and purpose of this picture is to demonstrate that there is always at least two ways of seeing something. There is always a different point of view to consider, a point of view that we may not agree with, but that doesn’t make it’s wrong.

I’ve never been a fan of the royal family, I like them, they seem like nice people (some of them) but the whole bow to your King/Queen just doesn’t float my boat. We are all souls and therefore all the same, so when I see one person bowing to another, to me, it seems wrong.

For auld lang syne, my jo, for auld lang syne, we’ll tak’ a cup o’ kindness yet, for auld lang syne. Dear 2017. Farewell, what a year you’ve been. I can categorically state that you will not be missed. You’ve forced us to endure terror attacks, natural disasters, worldwide political madness and devastating events that have changed us all.

This christmas eve as I sat drinking a cup of tea and looking at my beautifully decorated christmas tree, I felt the urge to count the gifts wrapped underneath it. There were 36 in total, some for the children, some for family and there was even a couple for the dog. None were for me but for the first time in my life I was ok with that.

Going to Norway I had an open mind and no expectation because as a fan of Eckhart Tolle for many years, I wanted to avoid feeling disappointed if a life changing experience didn’t manifest.

Speaking in general has always come very naturally to me. I remember as a child how much I loved to hold a room with my tales of adventure and lore or how having the opportunity to voice my opinion on this or that thrilled me. I quite simply loved the sound of my own voice and was deemed a chatterbox by my whole family, if I was around you had to fight to get a word in. As I got older, this didn’t change too much. I found myself being the centre of attention in many scenarios, the one to embellish a tale just to give more comedy to those around me. It was something I loved to do and it was something I was good at and while it felt natural, I never considered it as a career option.

It’s not you, it’s me!!! You’re a really nice girl, but I have a lot of work on at the moment. My head’s not in the right place right now, but I’ll give you a call when it is. Does any of this sound familiar? Ever had the feeling you’ve just been dumped or the realisation that the excuses you’ve convinced yourself are true, are actually not and you’re left facing the cold hard reality of rejection.

Having decided to look into the world of ‘dating apps’ I logged onto Tinder his week to see what the fuss was all about. I’ve always believed you should try everything once, so with an optimistic mind, I set about having a Tinder experience. I say I logged on, as it really is that simple to get a profile. You just download the app, login via Facebook and boom, you’re all set. No more writing a profile, choosing what pictures you want to represent you and paying a monthly fee to get started, no, no, no, that’s so last year. All it takes now is two simple steps and you’re live. Download, login, done.

I think by now that everyone at some point in their life has heard of the book “The Power of Now”. I first discovered it about 15 years ago when at 28 years old I knew something wasn’t quite right in my life but I didn’t know what it was. I can’t remember how I came across it I just know that I expected it to give me the answers I was looking for so with great determination I set about reading it.