It's Not Your Fault

It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. 

Okay. Got that? If not, read the first paragraph again or watch the movie Good Will Hunting. Which scene? You’ll know it when you see it. 

A bad childhood, an abusive relationship, you were cheated on, betrayed or abandoned. Your parents were too hard on you. Your best friend died. You have no confidence. Your child got sick. You can’t hold down a job, you’re depressed, anxious or generally just miserable. Fill in the blanks. Whatever it is, whatever hardship you’ve had to endure? It. Is. Not. Your. Fault. 

However…and this is sometimes a hard pill to swallow. 

It is absolutely your responsibility to do something about it. No matter what happened to you, how much trauma you’ve suffered, how much shit you’ve had to deal with. Only you can decide if you sink or swim. Only you can decide if your pain makes you or breaks you. 

Some people have unimaginable burdens to carry in life, some wear their pain like a badge. Some judge others who haven’t had as much pain, the unfairness of it sucks, but pain is subjective. Everyone is entitled to experience their own pain in whatever way they want to. Fall apart to something small, fall apart to something big. All traumas big and small activate your stress response system and create emotional consequences. How you deal with your pain is personal to you. 

But….

If you let your pain define you, you create your own suffering. If you adopt a victim mentality and blame the world and its mother for your unhappiness, your lack of success, your failed relationships, and so on. You’ll create a vortex of negativity that will suck you into its centre and never let you go. 

On the flip side, if you allow your pain to teach you, you’re already halfway to heaven. Make peace with your past. Make peace with your pain. Fully accept whatever trauma happened to you, sit with it, honour it, then…let it go. 

How? There is never a quick fix, there are no shortcuts to peace. It takes time and it takes work but it begins with self-awareness. 

Are you in pain? Are you pissed off at the world? 

If the answer is yes, go back and read the first paragraph again. 

It’s not your fault. Who's fault is it? Who cares? It doesn’t matter, it’s irrelevant, in the past, over. 

Let it go, move on, ditch the victim mentality, work on yourself, love who you are, and free yourself from the chains of blame. Trust me. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt. 

Make peace with your life. If you're sad, it's not your fault, but it is absolutely your responsibility to at least try to make yourself happy. Only you can do it.